Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
