Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
