I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
