I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
