I bet he comes in French.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
