The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
