I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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