clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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