im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
