I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
