Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
