no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize