If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think people are normalizing furries
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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