But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
