I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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