I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
