the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
