Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
