I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
