it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
