Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
