We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
