nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
