His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Text me some of your sweat
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
