before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
