Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize