I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
