Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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