Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
