haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
