we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm both gender and math confused
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
