so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
