he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
