For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
