My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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