U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
That was before I lit my hair on fire
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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