I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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