You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
