I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
