porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
