so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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