your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
