worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
