Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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