I think I died a long time ago.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
