Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
