where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
