It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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