I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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