Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Swine flu is the new snow day.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
