We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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