His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
