I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
